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Two queer African lesbians aunties having the conversations our cultures told us to swallow. Rich Queer Aunties is a space for truth-telling at the intersection of culture, queerness, relational healing, and diaspora life. Hosted by Christabel and Kachi, two Igbo daughters, lovers, thinkers, and truth-telling aunties, we unpack the emotional, cultural, and relational stuff we were never supposed to name out loud. From hierarchical colonial collectivist conditioning to people-pleasing, from religious trauma to queer love, from rupture to repair, we talk through the real work of becoming whole. We’re not here to perform wisdom, we’re here to practice liberation in real time, through honest conversations, cultural analysis, and the relational skills we’re still learning ourselves. If you’ve ever felt split between worlds…the obedient child and the rebellious self…the good daughter and the free adult…the hyper-competent professional and the lonely inner child…this is your space. We see...
Episodes
Friday May 22, 2020
Friday May 22, 2020
Aberrant Behavior Episode 5 - Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning In this episode, I talk about how most of our behaviors and what we consider our personalities are as a result of subconscious conditioning. As always, I draw from my experience. When I wanted to change behavior patterns that were no longer serving me, I thought it was a matter of willpower but after that failed me time and time again, I decided to dig deeper.Some of the things I talk about are:How I got to a place where I could forgive my ex-wife (and regain closes friendship with her) for cheating on me twice before our first anniversary.Hint: it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me focusing on transmuting my pain into powerful behavior changethe difference between the colloquial use of the term EGO and it's use in human psychology. And why it is important to get familiar with our Ego in order to stop- operating from a place of subconscious conditioningI mention the book The Four agreements and how learning about them is changing my lifeunlearning parental and societal conditioning. Why do we believe what we belive? Is it a matter of genetics or mere social conditioning?How can you be sure that YOU hate body hair?Our parents/earliest caregivers are not perfect, they're just people with their own traumas who happened to procreate. Should owe then take their word as gospel?Goal of all this workgetting free from bondage from our thoughts and feelingsleaving the prison of our mindsmoving through life with intentionbeing able to witness our thoughts and make the associations and own our s**t without ascribing blame to other peopleunlearning conditioned beliefsgetting to know our truest selvesimproving our inner peace and wellbeingimproving our relationships all aroundin relationships, I notice when patterns are repeating themselves and I can better detach and recalibrateResources:The Four Agreements: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_AgreementsThe difference between the colloquial use of ego and the psychological use: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/wisdom/whats-the-best-way-to-define-ego/Dr. Nicole LePera. She has some amazing FREE resources on doing Ego work: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/I wish you all a happy healing!Love, xoc.
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