Rich Queer Aunties

5: Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning

Aberrant Behavior Episode 5 - Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning In this episode, I talk about how most of our behaviors and what we consider our personalities are as a result of subconscious conditioning. As always, I draw from my experience. When I wanted to change behavior patterns that were no longer serving me, I thought it was a matter of willpower but after that failed me time and time again, I decided to dig deeper.Some of the things I talk about are:How I got to a place where I could forgive my ex-wife (and regain closes friendship with her) for cheating on me twice before our first anniversary.Hint: it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me focusing on transmuting my pain into powerful behavior changethe difference between the colloquial use of the term EGO and it's use in human psychology. And why it is important to get familiar with our Ego in order to stop- operating from a place of subconscious conditioningI mention the book The  Four agreements and how learning about them is changing my lifeunlearning parental and societal conditioning. Why do we believe what we belive? Is it a matter of genetics or mere social conditioning?How can you be sure that YOU hate body hair?Our parents/earliest caregivers are not perfect, they're just people with their own traumas who happened to procreate. Should owe then take their word as gospel?Goal of all this workgetting free from bondage from our thoughts and feelingsleaving the prison of our mindsmoving through life with intentionbeing able to witness our thoughts and make the associations and own our s**t without ascribing blame to other peopleunlearning conditioned beliefsgetting to know our truest selvesimproving our inner peace and wellbeingimproving our relationships all aroundin relationships, I notice when patterns are repeating themselves and I can better detach and recalibrateResources:The Four Agreements: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_AgreementsThe difference between the colloquial use of ego and the psychological use: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/wisdom/whats-the-best-way-to-define-ego/Dr. Nicole LePera. She has some amazing FREE resources on doing Ego work: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/I wish you all a happy healing!Love, xoc.

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4: Spankings and Slavery

Aberrant Behavior Episode 4 - Spankings and SlaveryIn this episode, I talk specifically to black parents, guardians and caregivers. I wanted to facilitate a conversation about the devastating effects of spankings within the black family.I talk from my perspective as a kid who received many spankings growing up and how that affected me detrimentally. I was only able to identify said detrimental effects when I started doing the work of healing from my many traumas. This is my attempt to start a conversation and perhaps a change of heart in people who have adopted this slave era practice of beating black bodies as their own.It was never ours to begin with. In fact, according to an article, “West African traditional belief held that children were reincarnated ancestors. West African societies held children in a much higher regard than slave societies in the Atlantic world, which placed emphasis on black bodies as property, not as human beings. West Africans believed that children came from the afterlife, that they were gods or reincarnated ancestors who led profoundly spiritual lives and held extraordinary mystical powers that could be harnessed through ritual practice for the good of the community. In fact, it was believed that coercion and hitting a child could scare off their soul. With Colonialism and slave trade, African-Americans adopted the practice of beating children from white slave masters” (Patton, 2017). It is a practice that is extremely detrimental to the psychological wellbeing of our children, Obedience from our children shouldn’t be the biggest accomplishments of us raising them. There is much to be said about raising children who are independent in thought and actions who are not mere subservient clones of ours.I leave you with my favorite poem from Kahlil Gibran on raising children:“Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.You may give them your love but not your thoughts,For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”Resources:The case against spanking: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spankingCorporal punishment in black communities: Not an intrinsic cultural tradition but racial trauma: https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2017/04/racial-traumaYoutube: ChrisatbelmintahgallowayIG: @ChrisatbelmintahgallowayWebsite: www.chrisatbelmintahgalloway.com

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3: Religion and Internalized Homophobia

Aberrant Behavior - Religion and Internalized HomophobiaIn this episode, I delve into my long and complex relationship with religion and why I had to let it go if I was ever to love myself deeply. I have nothing against religion as a whole because I recognize it’s role in providing comfort and hope to many people as it did for me. Plus, faith and belief is a deeply personal thing that I don’t really think I have room to comment on another person’s faith walk. My mental health required that I let go of that journey and embark on a personal spiritual journey of self-discovery, self-love and self-acceptance. Psychotherapy and other modalities proved to be more effective in helping me eliminate the internalized homophobia I had.Resources:Find a therapist in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?tr=Hdr_BrandLow-cost therapy for black women: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/Low cost remote and in person therapy: https://openpathcollective.org/Call to action: If you prefer to read than to listen, the show notes are on the blog here: https://christabelmintahgalloway.com/religion-and-internalized-homophobia/Forward this and other episodes to anyone who you think might benefit from itRate the episodes and write a review to get the message out because the podcast folks love to see that stuff.DM me on IG to continue the conversation: https://www.instagram.com/christabelmintahgalloway/Until next time, be well,xoc.

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2: My Healing Journey

*Trigger warning: Domestic Violence, Self harm, suicidal ideation and other traumas*In my most vulnerable share to date, I talk about how an abusive childhood and a tumultuous teen years and early adulthood led me to seek help. The pitfalls along the way and how I came to have a deep understanding of my innate goodness and worth.

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1: My Why

In this episode, I tell you my "why", why did I decide to start a podcast in a world with a million podcasts?

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