Rich Queer Aunties

Choosing Between an Anti-Black Country and a Homophobic One: Building a Youth Empowerment Center in Ghana

In this deeply personal episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we confront a difficult and often unspoken question: What do you choose when both anti-Blackness and homophobia are constant realities? As queer African women navigating these harsh truths, we share our stories of living between worlds - Christabel a nurse, and writer who immigrated to the U.S. from Ghana, and Kachi, a healer and Nigerian artist. 

As two queer women, we’re in Ghana right now, facing the challenges head-on to build a youth empowerment and retreat center that offers safety, skill-building, and community for marginalized people. But it’s not just about us. This is for the youth who dream of a future where they don’t have to flee their homeland for opportunities. We’re here to create spaces for healing, skill-building, and intergenerational wisdom-sharing, even in the face of homophobic laws and cultural stigma.

Join us as we discuss:

1. The emotional journey of building in a place that is both home and hostile
2. Leveraging the privileges we have - like American passports and financial security - to uplift others
3. Why we believe mutual aid and community funding are the keys to liberation
4. The healing power of reconnecting to the land and culture while building safe spaces for others

But we can’t do it alone. This project is for the community, funded by the community. We’re 13% funded towards our $30,000 goal, and we need your help to keep going. If you’ve been moved by our work, please consider donating. 💛

How to Support Us:

• Donate to our GoFundMe to help us reach our $30,000 goal: HERE.
• Become a member of our Patreon community, Oganihu Collective, where we share exclusive content, behind-the-scenes updates, and offer private discussions: HERE
• Connect with us on Substack for deep dives into topics we discuss on the podcast, updates on the project, and community conversations: HERE.
• Follow us on Instagram for daily updates, stories, and behind-the-scenes moments from Ghana: @christabelmintahgalloway

Every bit of support matters, whether it’s $20 towards buying a bag of cement or simply sharing this episode with someone who cares about community building. Together, we can create a space where marginalized people can thrive, heal, and build a future rooted in empowerment.

If this episode resonated with you, please:

1. Rate and review our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
2. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
3. Donate to our GoFundMe and help us reach the next milestone.
4. Join our private community on Patreon to deepen your connection with us and support ongoing projects.

Dear Queer Babies, Your Healing Matters: Lessons from Our Stories

Show Notes:

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we bring it all together - how our personal journeys of healing and self-discovery are deeply connected to yours. After sharing our own vulnerable stories in the last two episodes, today we reflect on what it all means for you, our dear queer babies, and why your healing matters.

Christabel and Kachi discuss the importance of storytelling in the healing process and how being open about our struggles can help others feel seen. We share lessons learned from our journeys - how healing isn’t linear, how being present with your emotions is crucial, and why your story, just like ours, carries weight.

In this episode, we explore:

• The importance of seeing yourself in someone else’s story
• Why your healing is essential to both you and the world around you
• Navigating self-compassion and forgiveness through the messy process of growth
• Practical steps for being present with your emotions and staying grounded
• Why community matters, and how it helps you stay accountable on your healing journey
• Understanding that it’s okay to struggle with the same issues, even after years of work

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re navigating their own healing journey and wondering if it’s all worth it. It’s a reminder that your process matters - not just for you, but for those around you, and for the collective queer community.

Join us as we share our stories to remind you: your healing matters.

Listen now on:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• Google Podcasts
• Stitcher

Follow us on Instagram:
@richqueeraunties

Join our Creative Community for Creatives of Diasporic Origin:

Oganihu Collective 

Shop Our Merch Store:

Rich Queer Aunties Shop

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Welcome Back to Rich Queer Aunties

01:10 The Power of Sharing Vulnerable Stories

03:34 The Role of Storytellers in the Community

04:52 Advice for the Younger Self

06:46 Being Present and Mindful

09:49 Handling Emotions and Inner Critic

14:06 The Importance of Community and Mirroring

15:46 The Challenge of Long-Term Healing

24:31 Choosing Love and Sharing Wisdom

27:05 Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

20 Percent Better by 80 - A Conversation on Rage with Christabel

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel's partner, Kachi, returns to the podcast to interview Christabel. They delve into Christabel's journey of healing through therapy, navigating complex PTSD, and embracing her authentic self.

Christabel shares personal stories about her struggles with anger and emotional outbursts, her challenging experiences growing up in an abusive household, and her journey to self-worth and acceptance, despite the lack of support from her religious community. The conversation also touches on the importance of a secure therapeutic relationship, the role of self-compassion, and practical steps for emotional regulation and personal growth.

Additionally, Christabel introduces her new initiative, Oganihu Collective, a community for creatives from the diaspora. Become an Oganihu Collective founding member by November 30, 2024 for $10/month here. 

This honest and heartfelt discussion is a beacon for anyone on their own journey to live authentically and heal from past trauma.

Stay connected on:

Instagram:

@christabelmintahgalloway

@richqueeraunties

Substack:

Boldly Authentic Substack

If you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back

00:19 Kachi Interviews Christabel

00:42 Christabel's Healing Journey

02:08 The Pivotal Moment

05:28 Seeking Therapy

07:32 Therapeutic Relationship

17:00 Books and Resources

20:25 Changing the Dance

25:20 Coming Out Story

26:20 Embracing Self-Worth and Confidence

27:20 Coming Out and Facing Rejection

28:13 Therapy and Validation

32:01 The Power of Self-Trust

34:30 Introducing Oganihu Collective

35:52 Balancing Healing and Coping Mechanisms

38:29 Navigating Relationships and Trust

41:14 The Journey of Mindfulness and Imperfection

48:26 Concluding Reflections and Gratitude

 

Coming Home to Self: A Conversation with Kachi

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel welcomes a special guest, their partner  Kachi, who shares their personal journey of self-discovery and healing. Kachi, an Igbo-American Nigerian artist and recovering engineer, delves into their transition from conforming to societal expectations to embracing their full, authentic self.

They discuss the influence of culture, family, and identity on their path, including the pivotal moments of moving to California, growing their facial hair, and exploring traditional Igbo spirituality.

The episode highlights the importance of living authentically, sustaining personal liberation, and the complexities of feeling connected yet different from one's community. Ideal for successful Black women seeking to navigate and embrace their true desires and identities.

Stay connected on:

Instagram:

@christabelmintahgalloway

@richqueeraunties

Substack:

Boldly Authentic Substack

If you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage
00:50 Meet Kachi: A Journey of Self-Discovery
01:23 The Importance of the Body in Healing
02:47 Kachi's Turning Point: Embracing Identity
04:19 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Identity
05:07 Rebellion and Self-Expression
06:39 Facing Family and Societal Pressures
07:22 The Catalyst for Change: Grad School and Beyond
10:47 Finding Independence and Self-Care
12:50 A Transformative Trip to Nigeria
32:55 Embracing Authenticity
33:23 Returning to the Motherland
34:28 Life in Oakland
37:07 Exploring Igbo Spirituality
39:20 Redefining Identity
43:31 Healing Through Community
49:59 Navigating Shame and Guilt
57:25 The Journey of Self-Discovery
01:02:31 A Heartfelt Conclusion

Boundaries in Context: A Guide for Those of Diasporic Origin

Welcome back to RichQueerAunties, I'm Christabel, your host - nurse leader, writer, and African auntie. Today's episode explores boundaries within the unique context of diasporic origins.

Boundaries are often discussed but not in ways that fit our lived experiences. For many of us from the global South or with parents from there, boundaries are intricate. We grew up valuing community and family over individualism.

So how do we begin to own our individuality while respecting our roots? Unhooking our worthiness from our actions is key. Accepting our realities in a hyper-capitalistic society, recognizing our inherent worth, and building nurturing communities matters.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. Recognize your limits and communicate them lovingly. It's less about external validation and more about internal regulation.

I hope these insights help you in balancing collectivism and individualism. Let's continue the conversation.

Stay connected on:

Instagram: @christabelmintahgalloway

@richqueeraunties

Substack: Boldly Authentic Substack

If you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Living Authentically

00:33 Embracing Cultural Legacy and Individuality

02:04 The Importance of Boundaries

02:52 Navigating Diasporic Challenges

03:46 Personal Journey and Cultural Attachment

05:53 Balancing Community and Self-Worth

10:43 Redefining Worthiness and Community

12:55 Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries

23:01 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

Is a Lack of Authenticity Keeping You Stuck?

Is a Lack of Authenticity Keeping You Stuck?

Raise your hand if you're tired of feeling disconnected despite your success.

You might think the problem is just about needing a break or figuring out your personal style or whatever else that has you feeling disconnected. But what if it's deeper?

You've been told that these parts of your life are separate—your style, your career moves, how you should handle relationships. They sell you on quick fixes:

• “Use this outfit formula in order to curate your style…”

• “Act like this to be the boss babe you are…”

• “Here’s how to spot a narcissist…” 

[Well…not so much.]

Let’s be real — if true fulfillment was based on these surface changes, you’d have everything figured out already.

The problem isn’t about the external adjustments you’re being advised to make.

The problem is Authenticity.

Stick with me here.

Understanding and being true to your authentic self is crucial, especially when your first role models—possibly even your parents—didn’t support this journey. This disconnect at the core can cascade into every other area of your life, affecting how you show up in your relationships, your job, and even how you express your personal style.

AKA: It doesn’t matter if you can learn how to build the most perfect capsule closet if you’re not ALSO tackling the deeper, subconscious issues of what’s keeping you from knowing who you truly are.

I said what I said. 

And I know living your truth SEEMS daunting and like a lot to unpack.

But it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming revolution.

Starting to live authentically can look like: 

→ Asserting your needs and boundaries, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. 

→ Choosing to engage in hobbies and interests that light you up, not just those that look good on your profile. 

→ Saying no to social norms that don't resonate with your core values. 

→ Celebrating your heritage and personal history in your daily life.

But it probably doesn’t look like conforming to a prescribed image or denying parts of your identity to fit into the mainstream.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please like rate it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts, the ratings matter so much, the reviews matter. And if you think, you know, at least one person who can benefit from this, please share it with them, it means the world to me. Until next time, take care of yourself.

Stay Connected:

Substack: Read My Writing
Instagram: christabelmintahgalloway

 

Showing Up as Your Authentic Self.

Hello, wonderful listeners!

I’m excited to announce that the Rich Queer Aunties podcast is back! After a year-long hiatus, I’m returning with fresh insights and a renewed focus on empowering Black queer women to embrace their most authentic selves.

In this episode, I reflect on my personal journey and the challenges I’ve faced, including my high ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score and how it’s shaped my path. We’ll dive into the importance of authenticity and how to overcome societal conditioning, religious indoctrination, and cultural expectations.

Join me as I explore:

Empowerment for Black Queer Women: How to break free from societal constraints and embrace your true self.

Overcoming Trauma: My personal journey with a high ACE score and its impact on self-discovery.

Dismantling Conditioning: Addressing shame, guilt, and the 'shoulds' that hold us back.

Cultural and Religious Challenges: Navigating the complexities of religious indoctrination and cultural expectations.

This episode marks the rebirth of Rich Queer Aunties, and I can’t wait to share more conversations and stories that resonate with our community. Let’s continue this journey together toward authenticity, empowerment, and self-love.

Stay Connected:

Substack: www.christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/christabelmintahgalloway

Tune in now and be part of this empowering journey. Delayed but never forgotten. Until next time, mwah!

Navigating Religious Trauma, Self-Discovery, and Family Estrangement: A Journey of Healing and Growth. A conversation with Dan.

This episode is sponsored by Rich Queer Aunties. Visit Rich Queer Aunties for all your fly RQA merch.

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties podcast, host Christabel invites guest Dan to share their journey from being raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and their spiritual journey afterwards.

Dan, a multi-dimensional being who is an organizer, spiritualist, sorcerer, and abstract visual artist. Dan also uses sound and music as tools for healing and celebration.

They discuss topics such as religious trauma, being ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, the experiences of gay individuals shunned by their families, African religious spirituality, spiritual journeys, self-development, and estrangement from family. Here are some key highlights from the episode:

00:03:31-00:06:40 - Upbringing as a Jehovah's Witness: Dan and Christabel discuss their strict upbringing as Jehovah's Witnesses, the lack of individual development, and the suppression of curiosity and individuality.

00:09:33-00:12:19 - Experiences of subconscious conditioning and rebellion within a religious community: Dan discusses engaging in rebellious behavior and seeking love in the wrong places, while also reflecting on the suppression they witnessed in Black women around them.

00:15:18-00:17:59 - Challenging Suppression and Making Independent Choices: Dan reflects on making choices that centered themselves and asserting their independence.

00:17:59-00:20:40 - Decision to Leave the Congregation: Dan discusses their decision to stop attending meetings at their congregation due to the suppression of women, influenced by their own mother's experience.

00:20:40-00:23:39 - Suppressed Identity and Self-Expression: Dan reflects on how their identity and voice were suppressed by their father, finding comfort in making their own choices and exploring their sexuality.

00:23:39-00:26:33 - Leaving Home and Coming Out: Dan reflects on leaving home as a symbol of freedom, and the challenges faced by queer individuals in religious communities.

00:29:36-00:32:33 - Choosing Freedom over Fear: Dan expresses gratitude for coming out as gay and standing up for themselves, despite negative reactions from their family and community.

00:32:33-00:35:34 - Ignoring Subtle Parts of Life and Choosing Intuition: Dan reflects on their experience with ignoring certain aspects of life, and the importance of listening to one's feelings and intuition.

00:35:34-00:44:39 - Exploring Grief and Depression: Dan discusses the concept of grief, its relationship to personal growth and healing, and the importance of embracing grief and allowing oneself to feel.

00:47:26-00:51:06 - Coping with family rejection and finding personal fulfillment: Dan discusses the impact of their parents' rejection, finding solace in creating their own life, and the importance of trusting intuition and taking care of oneself.

00:51:06-00:54:19 - Choosing Freedom over Fear: Dan reflects on their personal experience with grief, the transformative nature of the grieving process, and the importance of embracing discomfort for growth and evolution.

To listen to the full episode and explore more about religious trauma, self-development, and family estrangement, listen to Rich Queer Aunties on all podcast platforms. Don't forget to follow Rich Queer Aunties on social media for more inspiring content:

• Instagram: @richqueeraunties

You can find Dan at:

• Instagram: @kkingboo
• Soundcloud: Stream 7000COILS
• Website: 7000coils.com

Remember, you are not alone in your journey. There is hope, healing, and a community of individuals who have experienced similar challenges.

 

Coming Out as Gay: My Journey of Overcoming the Fear of Rejection as a Jehovah’s Witness

As always, if you enjoy this episode, please take a moment to review, rate, and share it. Your support means everything to me!

Welcome back to the Rich Queer Aunties Podcast! In this episode, we’re diving into the topic of overcoming the fear of rejection and why it's crucial for self-actualization.

I remember when I made the decision to come out as gay. It was a tough one because I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, where the you’re only allowed to associate with people “in the truth” and shun “worldly people”.  only associates with fellow believers. 

What this means is that if you ever commit a disfellowshipping worthy sin - such as being gay - they can cut you off. And that idea is that by cutting you off, you will be eventually starved of love enough to come to your senses and “return to Jehovah.”

The fear of rejection was very real, but I knew I needed to be true to myself. So, I made the tough decision to come out. 

In this episode, I’ll be sharing how I overcame that fear of rejection and the steps I took towards self-actualization.

I want you to know that it is possible to make decisions that bring you closer to your inner self, even if it feels like you're going to lose everything. So join us for this episode, and let's dive deep into this topic.

Website: richqueeraunties.com

Instagram:

@RichQueerAunties

Audio Engineer: Onyekachi Nwankwo 

My Journey of Balancing Collectivism and Individuality: Personal Stories and Cultural Reflections

Please don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW and SHARE this little podcast of mine. It truly makes all the difference.

Welcome to the latest episode of Rich Queer Aunties, where I'll be exploring the complex relationship between collectivism and individuality. Through personal anecdotes and cultural observations, I'll delve into how collectivism can both bind and liberate us. Join the conversation on this fascinating topic with me today!

At 04:37, I'll be sharing a powerful example from Ghana, where collectivism is so strong that reporting a family member's crime to the police can lead to ostracization. Conversely, at 08:00, I'll be discussing how America's individualistic culture saved my life.

Next, at 09:26, I'll be recounting my own experience of coming out on Facebook to both my family and congregation. Later, at 14:34, I'll be reflecting on how I navigate being openly queer and polyamorous while still maintaining a relationship with my deeply African and Jehovah's Witness mother.

Then, at 18:22, I'll reveal the harsh reality of being disfellowshipped by Jehovah's Witnesses and why I believe that I don't need my mother to fly a rainbow flag at pride. At 21:51, I'll emphasize the importance of respecting individuality, even when we don't share the same interests.

Throughout the episode, I'll be sharing insights on how representation matters and saves lives for African queers in the diaspora. However, at 27:03, I'll also highlight the potential pitfalls of collectivism and enmeshed communities. Finally, at 29:50, I'll be encouraging listeners to do the necessary work to navigate the anxiety and discomfort that comes with disappointing our loved ones in the pursuit of individual expression.

Don't miss this thought-provoking episode of Rich Queer Aunties, exploring the intersection of collectivism and individuality. Tune in now and join the conversation!

Audio Engineer: Onyekachi Nwankwo